


Forever isn't always

by allycat83



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 15:26:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14287884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allycat83/pseuds/allycat83
Summary: My first fanfic so please be nice,Vanessa and Charity after they break up (written before tonight's episode).





	1. Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this first fanfic as I love Vanity, if you want me to continue the story I will.
> 
> Please leave feedback.

Vanessa tossed and turned in bed she couldn't sleep. She can't believe that within a space of a few days she had fallen in love and broken her own heart by doing what she believed to be right. Tears rolled down her face as she remembered Charity's harsh screams of "Get out" and "We are over" Vanessa wiped tears away with the back of her hand as she heard Johnny stir in his crib. It was a new day and she vowed to get Charity to talk to her and build a trusting relationship.

 

Vanessa had showered and forced herself to eat some toast in an effort to appear okay, she was suffocating with a secret she could not speak about, that was destroying her from the inside out. Downing the last of the coffee she got Johnny ready for nursery and headed off to put him in the car. She glanced out the corner of her eye and saw Charity stood in the Woolpack doorway, as they made eye contact Charity turned and walked away but not before Vanessa noticed the same dark red puffy circles around her eyes. 

Vanessa felt a lump forming in her throat as she realised she was the reason for all this pain, by doing something she truly believed was for the best, she had destroyed the only thing in her life that was real her one true love that was Charity Dingle. 

Charity wasn't faring any better, she had cried and screamed for Vanessa's betrayal, but seeing her across the way looking every bit as miserable as she felt made Charity want to just run over, hold her and kiss her and say all was okay, but it wasn't okay, it was far from okay it was over, they were over and neither knew how to take the first step back to some semblance of normality. Locked in their own bubbles of pain.

 

Vanessa couldn't concentrate at work, she made silly errors so much so she threw on her jacket and walked out, much to the bewilderment of Paddy and Pearl, with their voices echoing in her ears she made her way to the Woolpack, the only place she knew she could find her home, her peace and serenity.

As she made her way through the doors she heard the hussle and bustle of pub life she drew eyes with Charity which simply turned her back and began to deliberately flirt with a young man she was serving, taking his hand as if she was reading tarot, she beckoned him closer whispering in his ear the whole time making eye contact with Vanessa, she had seen enough and made for the exit with the taste of bile burning her throat as she desperately sought air outside. Breathing rhythmically she calmed herself and with head down ambled home as the rain poured down soaking her tired body and soul.


	2. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit extra to add from the last chapter.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Her heart was beating so fast, her mind was clouding with fear, pain and regret, if Charity was to sleep with someone else whether they were apart or not was killing Vanessa. She could feel the crack peeling at her heart, the pain as if someone had crushed it within their hands and she had no one to blame but herself. In that moment she was glad her dad has taken Johnny for the night, she was broken a shell of herself she couldn't stop imagining Charity kissing someone else, touching someone else and being with someone else when it should be her. 

 

Vanessa gulped more sour liquid that slid down her throat making her retch, she loved Charity and never had chance to say how much she meant to her and any hope of her feeling the same had vanished when she had made the wrong decision. Lying down on the sofa soaking it in tears and pain was how Tracy found her hours later, she simply lifted her sisters head on to her lap and held her as she cried.

Tracy was worried as she got herself ready for the day, she knew Charity and Vanessa were over but had no idea why and how was scared, she had never seen her sister so open and vulnerable she was unsure of the next move she knew Charity was the first person she should speak too before her sister fell down an abyss that she may never climb out of.

Charity was behind the bar as usual the twinkle from her eyes had gone replaced by emptiness, Tracy entered the pub and spoke "I don't know what has happened between you and my sister but it needs to be fixed" Charity snorted and carried on cleaning the bar, "What happened was I realised how wrong I was to ever have been with her to trust her so go home and stay out of my sight both of you" Charity yelled, Tracy went to leave then turned back to Charity "My sister is broken, so whatever had happened whoever was at fault doesnt matter, Vanessa always wants to support people even if its not the way it should be for them, you need to repair this before there are no pieces left to fix" with that she left.

Vanessa sat leaning against the toilet bowl, her head sweaty and heavy, every time she thought of Charity she saw her with another person in her head she had vomited most of the morning and now lay exhausted in the bathroom, she didn't know where to turn or what to do to stop the never ending pain.

As she lay there she came to a realisation that to be the best mother for Johnny she needed to get away, needed a new start to move forward and she couldn't do that living in a village where gossip was rife and where her broken heart could be healed metres away. It was time to leave and Vanessa knew no matter how far she travelled, whatever distance was between them she would be leaving her beating and battered heart in Emmerdale.


	3. Too late?

Vanessa tried to keep her voice even as she spoke to her little boy, she tried to sound upbeat talking about the holiday as exciting and fun as possible it worked as her son broke in to a beautiful smile, well at least she can make him happy she thought as she proceeded to go through her bedroom drawers and load clothes in to a suitcase not looking or thinking about what she was doing she worked roboticaly as she zipped the case up.

Walking downstairs to her her sister who was holding Johnny, she smiled, Emmerdale had been eventful to say the least but she was leaving with a sister she didn't know she had, a dad she was now in contact with and a little boy she adored. 

Vanessa kissed Johnny as Tracy took him to the taxi ready for their adventure to begin, she had written a letter that Tracy said she would give to Charity when they had gone she stood touching the envelope and trying not to cry, she thought Charity was her forever but it wasn't meant to be, plastering on a smile she made her way to the door just a sullen figure made their way through it.

Vanessa was unsure of her next move as Charity stood before her with her hands in her coat pockets, "Tracy said you were broken, you look whole to me" Charity scoffed "Yeah she worries, I mean I'm okay" Vanessa said her voice reaching a higher peak as she struggled to contain her emotions. "Right well I'll just..." Charity began until she saw the bag and suitcase at Vanessa's feet, shock hit her hard as it dawned on her Vanessa was leaving. "Going somewhere?" she asked looking directly at Vanessa, she kept her head low "Yeah to um...visit a friend yeah ill be back" she said nonchanlantly as she picked up her bag. 

"You're lying" Charity snapped, Vanessa recoiled at her movement and made her way past her before the devestation on her face was detected, unfortunately Charity was too quick and grabbed her arm spinning her around to face her "Are you leaving me?" She asked terrified eyes searching Vanessa's tear stained ones.


	4. Truths

Vanessa couldn't look at Charity for long she tore her eyes away "What's it matter Charity we are over you said so and I saw you with that man you were over me quicker than a rat up a drainpipe, I mean nothing to you but you mean everything to me and I can't..." Vanessa began before the tears fell, Charity looked away "You broke my heart and my trust, but I need you and I don't need any one or anything but I need you" Charity cried.

Vanessa turned closer to her, " Need me as what? A friend a crutch, a no strings fun what am I to you?" Vanessa cried leaning against the arm of the chair for support, "You are everything" Charity sobbed loudly, "I don't want you to be but Nessa you are". Vanessa slid to the floor crying, Tracy popped her head around the door "I've cancelled the taxi and I'll take Johnny to the cafe, sort it out" she whispered leaving them in bits but together to talk more.

Regaining some composure Charity sat next to Vanessa, seeing her so broken hurt Charity more than she liked, she never had felt that way about anyone she was torn between hating her for what she had done and loving her for who she really was. As Vanessa continued to sob Charity put her arm around her and pulled her to her shoulder letting her own tears fall down her cheeks in the process tasting the saltiness on her lips.

After a few moments Vanessa pulled away, I need to go" she said in her thick Yorkshire accent tainted with a tremble, she stood up and wiped away her tears "I'm sorry I hurt you" she whispered gathering her things, "I didn't sleep with him, I didn't even kiss him I just needed you to hurt how I was hurting, I kicked him out literally I can't be with anyone but you" Charity said wearing her heart on her sleeve. 

Vanessa felt relief and some fear subside if Charity hadn't slept with someone else maybe there was a chance for them in the future. " I understand" Vanessa said "I need to go having you near me it clouds my thoughts I want..." she stuttered, Charity stood next to her arms at her side, "What do you want?" Charity asked unsure if she wanted to hear the answer, "I want you, "I love you Charity Dingle, just you" Vanessa said azure blue eyes looking deeply into emerald green "Just you".


	5. Forgiveness?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for lovely comments enjoy the last part for now xx

Charity wanted to lean in to kiss the soft pillowy lips she had grown to love to feel the softness and sweetness behind the kiss, but she didn't have chance as Vanessa saw an opportunity and kissed her first. 

Charity didn't reciprocate immediately unsure if she could open herself up again, Vanessa sensed the lack of movement and knew she had been rejected fresh tears joined a tear stained face as she quickly pulled away and bolted for the door leaving Charity stood touching her lips.

Vanessa was in her car and had locked the doors so quickly she leant over the steering wheel and thrust the key in to the ignition she needed to get far away she would return for Johnny later, starting the engine she began to reverse and stopped as she saw Charity in the the rear view mirror. She kept the engine running and put the car in to gear driving forward until two hands slammed on the bonnet of the car startling Vanessa she turned off the engine and waited for Charity to go, but she didn't instead she tapped on Vanessas' window, after a moment hesitation she unlocked the car and climbed out, she felt a hand grab her and braced herself for a slap verbal or otherwise instead a familiar pair of lips were on hers kissing her, tongues dueling and heat building as she felt herself being pressed up against the car until there was no space left between them.

Vanessa found herself in her bedroom, unsure of how they got there as the last few minutes had been a blur of kisses, touches and heavy breathing , Vanessa felt her clothes being removed frantically and a mouth envelop a hard nipple, she looked down and saw Charity, felt the zip of her jeans come undone and a hand sneaked inside stroking the wet underwear, Vanessa moaned loudly she had missed this but then she gently tried to withdraw herself, "Charity we need to talk" Vanessa said trying not to moan again as Chairty brushed against the small bundle of nerves awaking them from their slumber, "Talking is for after" Charity mumbled sliding down Vanessa's jeans and panties in  
one quick motion before searching out for the hidden treasures with her tongue.

Vanessa's moans increased she could either stop this therefore hurt Charity and miss a mind blowing orgasm or enjoy it and trust that Charity would stay afterwards, she decided on the latter and felt hands push her gently back on the bed as a tongue sought out the depths of her body.

As she caught her breathe she saw Charity's face smeared in her juices, she was terrified that Charity would leave her so in a flash she had Charity half naked writhing underneath her naked body if this was the last time it was would be unforgettable.

Chairty arched her back in release as she succumbed to her third orgasm at the hands and tongue of Vanessa, both naked Vanessa pulled the duvet on top of them, she was the first to speak "I missed this...us" she said tears forming, Charity was unsure of her next move to leave her feeling like a cheap whore to punish her more or to hold her which her arms ached to do, they had a lot to talk about but there in their bed Charity snuggled close to Vanessa and held her like she was a life buoy in the middle of a deep dark sea, yes there were treacherous waves that could pull them apart but there was also the hope that time would pull them back to the calming shore together.


End file.
